Sample Recommendation Letter (Before)

Question:

What has the candidate done pre-MBA in their business, personal or academic life to demonstrate commitment to reducing the serious underrepresentation of African American, Hispanic American or Native Americans in business school enrollment or the ranks of management?

What potential does the candidate demonstrate for assisting The Consortium in pursuing its mission post-MBA?

Rehana is excellent at building cross-cultural relationships and serves as a strong and compassionate representation of women of color in management.

Rehana has moved up at XXXX from a temp, to executive assistant, to Human Resources. She always demonstrates dedication to the mission of the organization.

Rehana also mentors a young African-American woman. I was Volunteer Coordinator at XXX for nearly two years. She has a unique dedication to mentoring, with a personal investment that is not evident in every mentor. She a has expressed and demonstrated that she feels a strong commitment to supporting other women of color and serving as an example of excellence in her field.

Rehana is extremely diligent and dedicated. Her sense of personal responsibility, her interpersonal skills, and business knowledge drive and enable her to promote equality and achievement across all racial and ethnic groups. She would be an excellent asset to The Consortium.

Now see this Recommendation letter after the edit.